WHETHER it be around an oval boardroom desk, two smaller café counters pushed together, the dining room table with tartan tablecloths, or even a picnic bench in a local park, people tend to open up and share life stories around these tables. Yet, when it comes to the important stuff, the emotional stuff, the heartfelt life-changing stuff, these same people can struggle to share with psychologists.
‘We normalise the language, non-clinical, grassroots. We don’t just talk about footy and s**t,’ said Ben Hughes, co-founder of The Men’s Table, a not for profit which focuses on ‘Healthy Men, Healthy Masculinities, Healthy Communities.’
There is a stigma that guys can’t show weakness, boys don’t cry, to be masculine you need to act a certain way. ‘Growing up you’re told “you’re a male, you’re the head of the family, you can handle anything.” But, behind that facade are a lot of struggles,’ said George, a 73-year-old man who regularly meets at a Table in Eastern Sydney. ‘It’s like buying a car, every 70,000kms you get a service. Men’s heads don’t get serviced, we just keep on observing and hiding stuff inside. The Men’s Table is a maintenance program, if you like.’
A recent study found that ‘95% of men who attend felt it was a safe place to share. 80% of men who attend reported a benefit to their mental health and wellbeing. 84% of men who attend felt a stronger sense of community belonging.’
Ben Hughes said, ‘The Men’s Table creates a safe space. Listening, no fixing. Absolutely no cost, just a meal, or a beer…or two. When people tell their stories, it not only unburdens them, but it also allows other men to feel “I’m not alone. I’m not the only person with a story. I have permission to talk about mine.”’
When asked about his experience, Ben continued, ‘When you get to 57, you have bumps and scrapes, life changes, difficult moments, walking through the dark valley, so that’s what I bring to the table. That’s what every single man that comes to The Men’s Table, brings. Lived experience.’
Regardless of your age, beliefs and cultural background, if you’re 18 and above, the Men’s Table encourages you to ‘Pull up a chair’, and in doing so, find a place where you can be heard and supported. You don’t have to do life alone, you’ve got a friend.
To find an Entrée (an initial meeting), contact: https://themenstable.org
